I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
