just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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