That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
