Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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