Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize