I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
