Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
