im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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