Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize