Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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