I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
