I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
birth control should be required to get into college
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
