one word: firstdatebathroomanal
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
