Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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