i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
