so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
