Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
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sorry about calling you the devil all night.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
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She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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