Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
