ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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