you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
