I'm going to jail i love you
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
