There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Randomize
