Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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