Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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