I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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