tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
