i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
