You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
