Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
