Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
