we're blogging at a bar
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
