from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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