that's an acceptable place to lick
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
