gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize