3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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