Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
