Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I would fuck him just for his dog
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize