but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
