Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
