Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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