I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
