I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize