Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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