I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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