This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
