Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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