oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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