Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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