You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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