I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
