My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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