she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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