How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
