Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
