Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
