We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Rumble strips road head = magical
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
