two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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