Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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