There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
