I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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