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U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't deserve a penis
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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