you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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