I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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