thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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