He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Is Oprah even human
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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