i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
How does it feel to date your dad?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize