if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
