Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
