I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
