What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
